What are your funny Diablo2 thoughts?

As I play this game, funny story lines or weird thoughts about the game come up

I will give an example of mine:

"When I rescue

Deckard Cain and

Akara thanks me by giving me a rare ring, but then ring is of pretty poor quality, should I read into it that

Akara and Deckard have a difficult past? And while she sees we need him to fix all that is happening, she isn't really that fond of him." Maybe it was a bad break-up in wizard school.

So what are your funny thoughts you have when you play? Less "why is this mechanic stupid" more like "Huh, I wonder about these people's lives"

Only

Akara,

Ormus and

Anya "reward" us with a rare item that is crap in 98% of all cases. That's just how RNG works. And there is

Charsi's imbue, usually worthless, too. RNG being as it is makes these NPCs look like poor misers. In Diablo 1, you always get the same unique as a quest reward. This is rather boring, so they changed it for D2, but some or even most of these D1 rewards are actually useful.

I have always wondered about

Jerhyn, the rich "Prince of

Lut Gholein" not giving us anything as a reward.
I get it, he wants to buy a new harem for himself and the price of slaves is probably high with all these people that were slaughtered by monsters.
But still, he could at least give us a little bit after cleaning the Palace Cellar and killing

The Summoner. In my mind, a reward in gems would make sense for him: 10 Flawless Gems (randomly rolled) in normal and 10

Perfect Gems in Nightmare and Hell.

Rare ring rewards for completed quests usually end in disappointment, and yet we all do them hoping for a "different result."

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Do the Mercenaries know they are essentially slaves with a 100% chance of Death? We pay the Merchant to hire one. We never pay the mercenary - ever. We never pay the merchant again unless we want a different one.

Knappogue wrote: 22 hours ago

Do the Mercenaries know they are essentially slaves with a 100% chance of Death? We pay the Merchant to hire one. We never pay the mercenary - ever. We never pay the merchant again unless we want a different one.

We lavish them with luxurious ethereal garments. I've yet to hear them say thanks, except when feeding their potion addiction.

mhlg wrote: 22 hours ago

Rare ring rewards for completed quests usually end in disappointment, and yet we all do them hoping for a "different result."

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The definition of insanity lol

FerociousTerrier wrote: 22 hours ago

Knappogue wrote: 22 hours ago

Do the Mercenaries know they are essentially slaves with a 100% chance of Death? We pay the Merchant to hire one. We never pay the mercenary - ever. We never pay the merchant again unless we want a different one.

We lavish them with luxurious ethereal garments. I've yet to hear them say thanks, except when feeding their potion addiction.

And "I can put that to good use" lol

FerociousTerrier wrote: 22 hours ago

except when feeding their potion addiction.

More like liquid methamphetamine lol

FerociousTerrier wrote: 22 hours ago

Knappogue wrote: 22 hours ago

Do the Mercenaries know they are essentially slaves with a 100% chance of Death? We pay the Merchant to hire one. We never pay the mercenary - ever. We never pay the merchant again unless we want a different one.

We lavish them with luxurious ethereal garments. I've yet to hear them say thanks, except when feeding their potion addiction.

(my emphasis)

Well, how would you react if: your boss gave you expensive clothes, insisted that you always wear them at work, and it turns out the clothes are all semi-transparent...

There should be a level in hell difficulty where you have to fight against all of your dead mercs that have been sent to hell.

I escape near certain Death by jumping into a portal at the last second, leaving behind enough monsters to destroy a city. I casually walk through town hoping the monsters don't follow me through the portal...

Also, the townsfolk don't seem to mind all the skeletons and revives following the necromancer. Nobody knows who cleans all the bodies out when they die in town...

a polearm dropping out of a fly or another tiny creature is always hilarious

First time i encountered ghostly ghost i was laughing so hard i had to tp to town

"I'm the hero saving the world, why do I need to pay the NPCs for their stuff? Even for potions! They should support me in my mission and gear me up for free."

Depending on the map generator:
"Lost City is just over there, behind the city wall! Jerhyn, you can see it from your palace!"

departure wrote: 20 hours ago

There should be a level in hell difficulty where you have to fight against all of your dead mercs that have been sent to hell.

Not exactly dead mercs, but Median XL re-uses the merc animations, so you can encounter them in some of the uberlevels. And Median being Median, they hit rather hard...

Not really a thought in my head but a funny story nonetheless...my wife and I do game nights in the basement where she does puzzles while I fight the forces of darkness and one night she overheard

Charsi say "What do you need?" and my wife blurts out "A blowjob!" lol

I'm not normally a synesthete, but for whatever reason, the sounds of socketables dropping make me think of the sensation and taste of candy: runes are chalky candy, gems are hard candy.

I have also wondered on many an occasion how Gulzar feels about me rifling through his former colleagues' pockets for change.

FerociousTerrier wrote: 22 hours ago

Knappogue wrote: 22 hours ago

Do the Mercenaries know they are essentially slaves with a 100% chance of Death? We pay the Merchant to hire one. We never pay the mercenary - ever. We never pay the merchant again unless we want a different one.

We lavish them with luxurious ethereal garments. I've yet to hear them say thanks, except when feeding their potion addiction.

The stuff is just borrowed. Therefore mercs put their whole energy to prevent damage on their gear. Not even scratches on ethereal Reapers Toll after killing th of monsters.